Thursday, October 7, 2010

The human bobble-head...

it's quite possible I could win an award for best car sleeper. It's been a running joke with my family whenever we go on road trips that I will fall asleep and my head will swing lifelessly back and forth like a human bobble head. In fact, I'm pretty sure the site of my bouncing head has provided much amusement on long car trips! At any rate, I really like to sleep in the car. However, in recent months, sleep isn't something that has come very easily to me, even in the car, so on our last road trip, I offered to drive a bit so DH could rest since it was so late when we were heading home.

I love surfing the radio for a good Christian station when I'm driving, and that night was no different. I found myself singing along with the radio as my DH and my lucybug slept soundly in the car. (Only I was nice and didn't play the human bobble-head game with them!:-) I was singing happily along when all of a sudden my eyes started filling with tears as I was struck with a crazy dose of dejavu when I realized what song I was singing along to...

"Unchangeable, unshakable, unstoppable, that's what You are..."

I was instantly brought back to a cold winter's day in Illinois, where I found myself driving in the car in a very familiar setting with DH sleeping soundly next to me. He had just recently had emergency surgery, and we were on our way to the dr appointment where we ultimately would find out he had cancer. There were so many thoughts, so many emotions, racing through my head that day. Not only was the weather bitter that winter day, but my heart was a bit, too. Why God? didn't even begin to cover all the thoughts in my head, but it was about all I could muster up during that crazy whirlwind season in our lives. It was so timely that I would hear that song-it was as if the Lord was speaking directly to me, saying, "Do you trust me? Do you really believe I am Who you've been proclaiming that I am?" At the point, I had to answer yes, for if I truly believed that He was "God alone, in the good times and bad..." even when I didn't understand all that was happening to us, then I was compelled to believe that yes, no matter what, I believed in God and would trust His perfect will and would be confident He would see us through.

Fast-forward to this past weekend, three and a half years later, to where I found myself listening to that same song in the same car...only this time, my husband wasn't sleeping next to me because of pain medicine-he was sleeping next to me because he was so tired from having ran his first 5k that morning. And only this time, our backseat wasn't empty, but rather it was filled with a precious 3 year old miracle God has blessed us with despite the difficulties the doctors thought we would encounter in getting pregnant. I realized I had come full circle. This time, I got to sing that song from the standpoint of the "good times." And you know what I realized? I realized how much sweeter it was for me to get to see things from both sides...

Maybe life is kind of like a bobble-head...sometimes we're moving up, and sometimes we're moving down, but sometimes we get the blessing to stop and be still and see where all those roads have taken us...if we're willing to stay awake to catch a glimpse of it!;-)

1 comment:

  1. What a beautiful post, Paula-Beth!! I love seeing the journey through your eyes in this...

    Having been on a continuing bobble-head journey, you get a big AMEN! from my corner of the world.

    Y'all are so special to me! ((hugs))