"I ask God to rain on me...but I've got an umbrella over my head."
I love how God uses our little children to teach such BIG lessons. It always makes me smile when I feel like God is literally speaking through my precious Lucy. He does this pretty often, and today was no exception...
I didn't get much sleep last night. In fact, I rarely sleep very well these days. But, after being up with Lucy last night, I was especially tired/rundown/emotional this morning. I felt completely drained, and I knew that even more than physical rest, I needed some spiritual refreshment. So, I told Lucy that mommy needed to have some quiet time with Jesus. I got several books out for her and set them on the dining room table next to me and told her she needed to read quietly so that mommy could do the same.
It's no news to anyone that I'm a bit of a worrier. And as I was examining my current stresses, I found I was borrowing trouble more than anything. I was letting what-ifs rule my thoughts, and I realized I wasn't having much trust in my Jesus at all. I know in my heart He will provide me with what I need for whatever circumstances come my way so there's no need to worry about tomorrow...but then my human voice rang out to God, "But what about today's needs, Lord? I'm physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted. Where is your provision NOW, because I just don't feel it."
So I sat there and prayed...mostly to myself, although it was partially audible. I don't know that Lucy actually heard what I was saying, but her response to my please was certainly right on cue. I was begging the Lord to refresh me, "Lord, I need you to rain down on me--I need you to refresh me..." And then I heard my sweet daughter's voice exclaim, "MOMMY, it's YOU!" as she excitedly pointed to a picture in her peanuts book. I smiled at her and said "It is?" and was about to go back and close my eyes when I felt compelled to stop and look at what she was showing me (Side Note: I'm really trying to work on giving her my full attention. I've discovered I so easily will half heartedly acknowledge what she's saying when I'm in the middle of something, and not really pay attention.) I looked over at what she was so excited to point out to me, and I'm so glad that I did...
I could hear God gently nudging me, and I couldn't help but smile, and then shake my head at myself. So often, we ask God to rain down on us, and all the while He is POURING His blessings and refreshment down on us...but we're so busy still trying to handle it on our own, and making sure we're prepared JUST in case He doesn't come through, that we miss out on Him all together. We're so busy protecting ourself from the rain in life that we remove the very way He is trying to refresh our souls. We ask God to rain down on us, but we've got an umbrella stuck over our heads.
Romans 5:1-5 says this:
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
It's a cloudy day here in West Texas, but I think I'm going to keep my umbrella in the closet, because I'm ready to freely accept the rain God wants to pour into my life. It may not be easy at first, but I know He is using it for my ultimate good, and more importantly, for His ultimate glory!